Why Can’t I Be Happy, Even When Things Are Going Great?
You’ve ticked the boxes.
The job looks good on LinkedIn, the relationship is solid, your to-do list is mostly handled, and maybe you even had a green smoothie this morning.
So why do you still feel... off?
You’re not alone if you’ve ever asked,
“Why can’t I just be happy? Everything is fine.”
According to Verywell Mind, this experience is more common than you think—and often misunderstood. Many people carry the misconception that happiness is the natural byproduct of success. But for a lot of professionals, especially high-functioning ones, there’s a disconnect between what life looks like and how it actually feels.
Here’s What Might Be Happening:
1. You’re Emotionally Disconnected
When you're in performance mode for too long, you begin to numb your own needs. You're not sad, but you're not present either. It's a survival habit, not a character flaw.
2. You're Chasing a Moving Target
Happiness becomes a checklist item. Once you get the thing, job, promotion, relationship, you immediately raise the bar again. Fulfilment never gets a chance to settle.
3. You're Still Carrying Unhealed Stories
Sometimes the reason you're not happy now is because you're still trying to prove something from back then. That old wound can override even the brightest win.
🧠 Insight from Psychology:
The article notes that hedonic adaptation, our brain's tendency to return to a baseline level of happiness, means that external achievements only offer temporary boosts. Without internal alignment, even the best days can feel hollow.
So What Can You Do?
1. Pause the Performance
Let go of “I should feel happy” and allow yourself to feel what’s actually true. No judgment, just honesty.
2. Create Micro Moments of Joy
Happiness isn't one big event. It's tiny glimmers: a favorite song, a kind conversation, a 5-minute walk in sunlight. Presence creates pleasure.
3. Go Inward, Not Just Upward
Success is great, but without self-connection, it’s just motion. Journal, reflect, work with a coach, or ask, “What would feeling good look like today?”
The Kindness Catalog Stance
At The Kindness Catalog, we believe happiness isn't something you chase.
It's something you return to, when you're safe enough to feel it.
That’s why our tools and courses don’t just help you achieve more, they help you feel aligned while doing it.
If you’re navigating change and need support, guidance, or tools that go deeper—you don’t have to do it alone. That’s what I’m here for.
You don’t need to fix your life.
You just need to come home to yourself.
